THE POWER OF A SIMPLE “YES”

by Sarah Hiner

Do you want to have a happier family?  Feel more connected to friends and co-workers?  Increase your self-esteem?  Try saying “yes” when you really want to say “no”.  It actually might feel really good.

I was raised to say “no” before I said “yes”—well, not exactly to say “no,” but to think critically before blindly jumping into action. It’s not that I’m a nay-sayer or a negative person. In fact, those who know me know that I am generally a doer, not a watcher. But yes, I was trained by the best to think thoroughly, plan carefully, ask questions and watch out for pitfalls. That made me great at many things, including leading Bottom Line Inc. But it also made me hold back a bit when it came to letting go and truly enjoying life’s simple pleasures.

Then, about 15 years ago, I met author, yogi and meditation instructor Elena Brower. We were part of a small group of women who met monthly to focus on personal growth and making a difference in the world. To live a life of joy thanks to our commitment to improving ourselves and those around us. At one of our sessions, Elena announced that she had brought words for each of us. Huh? Before the meeting, she’d had an idea and had meditated on words that she felt would be an inspiration for each person in the group.

My word was “yes.” Not anything sexy like “creator” or “generous” or “motivating.” Nope…just the simple word “yes.” Yet that simple word had a profound effect on me, crystalizing the self-image of who I had been for all of my life and moved me to an entirely new place.

“Yes” felt open and full of possibility. It shifted my perspective and awakened me to how rarely I simply said “yes,” opting instead for deep consideration followed by agreement or acquiescence. I’d get to “yes” but in a rational methodical way… not with joy and freedom.

Think about it. To state the obvious, “yes” is positive. It feels good. It is expansive.

In contrast, “no” feels closed—to relationships, growth, opportunity, you name it.

Sure, life is busy and with many pressures and obligations you can’t say yes to everything or everyone. But you can say “yes” to many simple things that can help you feel better about yourself and the world each day.

Here are 25 simple things anyone can say “yes” to…

1. A child who wants to play or read a book.
2. Allowing someone to go in front of you on a line…in traffic…or through a door.
3. Sending a text to let someone know you’re thinking of them.
4. A hug.
5. A foot massage.. even if you have to do it yourself.
6. Tasting a new food or making a new recipe.
7. Exercising five minutes more than you thought you could.
8. Cleaning out one drawer or closet or cleaning off one table or countertop.
9. Drinking more water.
10. Taking a walk in the sunshine, no matter how brief.
11. Talking with a recruiter or perspective employer—you never know what you will learn.
12. Calling a childhood friend who you haven’t been in touch with for a long time.
13. Stepping out alone to dinner or a movie, especially if you’re not generally an alone kind of person.
14.  Telling your spouse/partner/family members that you love and appreciate them.
15.  Meeting someone new, especially when someone you love makes the introduction. (This happened to me recently, and it has totally changed my life—I am now involved in tutoring and working with children.)
16. Turning off the screens—both big and small—for a little while each day.
17. Learning one new word or interesting fact each day.
18. Eating an extra serving of vegetables.
19.  Rounding up your total at the grocery store by a dollar or two to donate to charity.
20.  Stretching for five minutes before you get out of bed.
21.  Participating in an activity with family that isn’t your first choice…and doing it eagerly.
22.  Taking up a new hobby.
23. Attending a party or wedding even if you don’t know many others who will be there. (I did this and it changed my life.. I met my husband.)
24.  Helping someone even when you don’t feel like it.
25.  Pausing to look at a beautiful sunset… taking a moment to look up at the sky. It’s always interesting and humbling.

These are just a few examples. Think about what would make you happy when you say “yes.”

“Yes” is a lot more than merely doing or being. “Yes” is a mindset. At times of challenge or stress, “yes” actually has become one of my silent mantras that pushes me past fear and into the belief that I can succeed. Give it a try. Yes, you can.

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